I never thought of dangly earrings as life-saving, but maybe I just don’t get out enough.
In Vermont there was a trans woman who was burned out of her home a few years back, her family was involved in the arson. She fled and we are poorer for her absence. Maybe safety is part illusion. I hate the idea that any of us have to worry or fear for our safety, that our beauty and gifts may not be seen by the wider community, that meanness should be part of what follows fabulous queerness. It brings out the Italian mama in me, which is fierce.
My father’s mother was once mugged by a man twice her size- he grabbed the handle of her purse and yanked- she held on to the purse until the handle broke off and they both fell over- she then took a scissors out of her purse and chased him down the street- that was in her 70’s and it didn’t change into her 90’s!
My Quaker-side wants us to live in the bright light of seeking and change-making. And maybe we need both fierce and tender to survive it all
I like this question of how to do the most good in a quick short message or action is a good one because there are often times, maybe not with powerful decision makers, when we only have a moment to do some good, to initiate change. My first consideration would be my listener- what do I know about them, their receptivity, their perception, their personal culture. I also would want to know their own ways of communicating. Some men welcome tenderness in their opposition. Some men have no respect for opposition until it shows strength. If one has to butch up to be heard, then how to present as strong without being threatening? Then I’d want to see what information can I offer which is at the core of catching attention, suggesting change, making my perceptions clear. What do I know that frames my perspective, which challenges another’s assumptions in a fair and honest way. And then, being an old Montessori teacher of young children, I’d pose it as a question, which tends to be respectful and effective in education.
Considering all this, if I had the chance to speak with Bush- which is very difficult to imagine- AND issues of old anger loom greatly-
Short version- Did he wonder if too many people were dieing from his decisions?
Longer version- I’d ask him if he really thought that country A could place horrible dictator in country B, then country A could organize sanctions withholding medicines so thousands of children in country B died, and then country A would invade saying it had come to teach democracy- did he really think that was possible to make peace and teach democracy after such history?
My imagination and wonder are usually more along the lines of what would I do if I had decision power. Here’s my current list-
-Chase the money changers from the temple- get $ and corporate lobbyist out of elections and legislating
-Universal health care
-Join the international court, offer all administrations for trials on international law- everyone who made war &/or torture goes first
-Break monopolies of TV, radio, and newspapers so our news sources went back to real news
-Take the US out of the business of war- bring all troops home, triple the vets health care budget, and offer college tuition, close all 700+ US military bases around the world.
-Take the $40 billion annual budget for the CIA and make sure no one was hungry, homeless, or without medicine in America
-Re-do the tax structure to make the 2% weep
I dream of peace and justice for people I know and places I’ve been and places and people I’ll never know. I think it’s spiritually healthy to see how it could be and hope and work and believe the best is possible AND know that it’s a vigil, a long haul, a good long spiritual work. What were we doing anyway?
I have just been wondering- I can’t think of a time when I’ve had to “pass” as a straight person any time recently. Actually, I can’t recall the last time I had to do this at all. AND I am also thinking that I probably couldn’t do it any more. I think it might be like a muscle and “use it or lose it” I think is quite true for this muscle.
I am wondering, what are others experience with this? Are there places where you still need to pass and how do you manage it?
I had a friend in Cleveland who was a bus mechanic, big butch job with big engines and tools. He was outed in a newspaper on a workday and he had passed up to that point but all went smoothly and nothing changed.
Are there stories to be told here? I have the feeling that I don’t have to speak or move and people just look and think- big old queen. It’s freeing in a way and I tend to live and work in safe places. And I can butch up a tad when necessary but pass, no, not even with an acting class.
Just wanted to say that Peter Clay, who now lives in Des Moines, Iowa and works at a primate sanctuary, is taking care of a female orangutan whose legs don’t move. Peter began doing energy work with her and she relaxed deeply and lay beside him exposing her entire back for him to work on. Good works go in many places quietly and by sharing them the horrible noise of the world is made less.